Ricoh British Open – Round Three

My player is Kris Tamulis.

Four over today. Going for the pins tomorrow. Maybe.

Last in, first out: Seon Hwa Lee birdied the final hole yesterday to earn her a spot on the weekend. Only problem is, she was in the final group, which played til dark, and teed off first this morning. Not much turnaround time.

Another good one: When one veteran bag-toter was asked how does someone get into caddying and the reply was quick and to the point. “The question is, how does someone get out of caddying?”

Slip slidin’ away: Yesterday afternoon was brutally messy which made the decent, from the eighteenth tee down to the fairway, especially treacherous. It’s a dirt path which turns into a mudslide if you’re not careful. One fairway technician tried his best but didn’t negotiate the very end and went for a wicked backward tumble. First his tailbone then the back of his head bounced off the turf. All the stars and a few planets were visible for a time I heard.

That’s what friends are for: One of the caddies was about to throw away his betting ticket thinking it was a loser until his buds convinced him otherwise. He’s now £500 richer.

Pinocchio would be proud: More accusations of an Asian ‘playing loose with the rules’ arose today. Her ball lay in a bunker with very little room behind for a proper backswing. Apparently, her attempt at striking the ball hit the back of the bunker and she never made contact. Claimed it was a practice swing but her playing partner swears it wasn’t. Quite an argument ensued afterward in the clubhouse. No penalty was given. Who was it you may ask? All I could say is, nobody doesn’t like her.

Ricoh British Open – Round Two

My player is Kris Tamulis

Two over today puts us at +5. Just snuck in the cut as the afternoon rain took its toll. As every second ticked away, we got closer until the fives got in. One very veteran looper estimated it was a four shot advantage having the late/early flop. I think he was right on the mark.

Free ride: In fact, it was twenty. That’s how many golf carts were stolen at last year’s Ricoh British Open held in Lytham St. Annes. This year, a keypad has been installed on every one and must be used to start the carts.

You got to know when to hold it … Few and far between port-a-potties have players and caddies alike finding the nearest hideaway in the bushes to do their business. Even if you’re lucky to find one, the pungent aroma will knock your socks off and most don’t even have toilet paper!

Quite alarming: Scenario #1: Earlier in the week, the only restroom that seemed available for our use was the handicapped in the clubhouse. Once when I was using the facilities, a peculiar red cord hung from the ceiling that seemed to have no purpose. Of course, I just had to give it a tug. Oops! That was the ‘call for help’ alarm just in case you couldn’t get off the throne. Must happen all the time cause the guy who came to reset it was moving about as fast as a tortoise in high heels.

Scenario #2: Beep, beep, beep was the first indication something was amiss at our apartment last evening. It was a problem with the alarm system that would should have been fixed by Rick entering the reset code per the posted instructions. NOT! That set off the full fire alarm which woke the entire building! It eventually subsided but that beeping continued all night. I thought all the commotion was just a dream so I never left my bed.

And then there was this.

History of Royal Birkdale and Women’s British Open

BUSHNELL LASER RANGEFINDERS REMAIN OVERWHELMING CHOICE FOR GOLFERS ON LPGA TOUR

Ricoh British Open – Round One

My player is Kris Tamulis

Three over in our opening round. We definitely had it easier in the afternoon than the morning. No rain and the wind diminished.

Ricoh British Open – Wednesday

My player is Kris Tamulis

It blew, it rained and it rained and blew but in the end, the sun warmed our behinds as we finished the practice round. Played fourteen holes in a foursome (way too busy) before two dropped out.

Cha-ching! The nasty weather has been a boon to the Royal Birkdale pro-shop. Galvin Green waterproofs have been flying off the rack.

Princess syndrome: Lets see. Fruit, cereal, yogurt, porridge, bangers, ham, cheese, pastries, lunch meat, eggs on request, coffee and tea. Would anyone reject this as a poor breakfast selection? One player did. Heard her utter “They really went all out with the food today” in a very sarcastic tone. Wonder if she had the same thoughts about lunch. It was some of the best salmon with all the fixins I’ve ever consumed. There was a day when caddies could only sniff the aromas emanating from the player dining area and it was forbidden for even a sandwich to find its way into our hands but now, if invited, we dine with our player at most venues and I for one am grateful to all that made it possible. No matter what is on the menu.

Quote of the week: Locating a fine dining experience at the right price can be quite a treasure hunt when you’re on foreign soil so when the name of a good Thai restaurant was queried, one looper thought he knew right where to go. “I think it’s the Taj Mahal.” was his response. Is that gastro-geographically possible?

Those almost marvelous machines: When our apartment booking reveled that a washer/dyer was include, it was a huge bonus but when we discovered it was all in one machine, it had us second guessing its effectiveness. We just had to wonder if the drying part would be up to snuff. Well, it wasn’t. My towels took two days to hang dry.

At least the instructions were in English.

And then there was this.

LPGA standouts look marvelous in France

Alcott, Mucha clinic highlights OGGF tourney in Avon

Futures Tour sorry for DQ, vows changes

Gel that can help decayed teeth grow back could end fillings

iPad Owners Are ‘Selfish Elites.’

Ricoh British Open – Tuesday

My player is Kris Tamulis.

Arrived at the course around 1:30 yesterday afternoon and received a note to meet Kris on the back nine. She had already teed off taking a handful of sticks which ‘The Nerd’ had to tote together with the fourteen his player Moira Dunn had in the bag. By the time I got situated, borrowed sixty quid from Worth, bought a yardage book and dressed for the potential nasty weather that turned perfect, it was a bit late. To compensate, I started on eighteen, walking the course in reverse order. As I approached the fifteenth fairway, that unmistakable bucket hat, atop the gargantuan noggin of Moira’s looper, alerted my senses that I had found my quarry. We finished the back then continued on.

Today was just practice. A morning and afternoon shotgun pro-am filled the Royal Birkdale links and no play was permitted before or after.

Circuitous travels: Before heading for England, I spent the night at the Hotel Stars, just a stone’s throw from GVA. At 60€, it was the cheapest I could find but worth less than half that I discovered. I bit the bullet but the kicker was the 24€ the b####rd hit me for the cab ride to the airport. I’ll know better next time. This place should be your last resort!

The next hurdle to climb was getting to Southport. The plan was to take the train from Manchester Airport to Southport then another to the course. But luck was on my side this time. Karen Stupples was on the same flight and offered a ride in her rental car which turned out to be a ‘Beemer’ instead of the Ford she had requested. Even though the rate was the same, she figured it may cost her more due to the increased chance of multiple speeding tickets.

Karen was not that familiar with this part of the country so her friend Kay was called upon to guide us along. Karen and Kay seemed like close friends but then again, how close can you really be to your GPS? As it turned out, it was a good thing Kay was navigating. A road closure had us going in one big circle.

We drove in the rain the entire way which meant the early arrivals played the course in the same conditions. Didn’t look like they experienced a fun round. Cleared up for the afternoon groups.

Monday qualifier: Brooky wins by four.

This ain’t the LPGA: The tireless and altruistic volunteer sprit is not to be found on this side of the pond. At least to the extent as in the States. Most folks here get paid for their duties here such as the guy minding the bag room. He closed it at 7:30 yesterday evening (after pulling a thirteen hour shift) leaving some luggage under lock and key til today. Even transportation called it a day at seven. Many players and their assistants were still on the course.

Don’t leave France without it: A luggage service was provided for caddies and players from Evian to Birkdale to avoid toting that extra weight aloft. A couple lorries jammed full with clubs and bags departed Sunday evening and arrived about midday on Monday. Unfortunately, one looper’s passport made the trip with his suitcase. Had to stay another day and get a temporary from the American Embassy.

Sometimes, it’s the little things: That’s how Karen Stupples saw it when she was first off by herself last week. The breakfast offered-up by our benignant host was second to none and she calculated that expedient play would get her another go-around before lunch was served. Made it with time to spare.

More of the same: I was next to the eighteenth green when Shin made her birdie putt to take the lead. Barley got an acknowledgement from the gallery. It was as if she made a par to finish with a seventy-eight. No one wanted her to win. Sorry Seoul Sisters, that’s the reality.

Wow! This is what happens when I take a couple days off. My fingers ache.

And then there was this.

LPGA’s Futures Tour admits Sarah Brown should not have been disqualified for illegal sand wedge

Ladies Golf Union addresses Alexis Thompson issue

Morgan Pressel: Pardon her French

Amy Winehouse plans to take golf lessons

Local millionaire Jim Justice taps golf passion to bring The Greenbrier back to life

BP Oil Spill: Clean-Up Crews Can’t Find Crude in the Gulf Huh?

Getting a university degree ‘can slow down dementia’ Back to school for me!

Evian Masters – Round Four

My player was Ran Hong

Played it up once more.

Fun listening to players and caddies comment on play while watching it on the tube in the lounge.

Wouldn’t bet a bottle of Evian on it: I’ve been told that a push to make this a Major is under way.

Hail to the Queen: Congrats to Azahara Munoz for being selected as the Evian Masters Ambassador. A new Rolex was in the goody bag along with a week stay at The Hotel Royal.

And justice for all: That bug-bitten looper at the Hotel du Palais received his just due after all. Wasn’t charged for the night of his involuntary blood donation.

And then there was this.

Deepwater Horizon alarms were switched off ‘to help workers sleep’ Now the truth seems to be appearing. It was easy to blame BP but it looks as if Transocean is the real culprit. Someone should be jailed for this.

Germany Weighs Tax on the Obese That’s what brats and beer will do to ya.

Judge sharply questions federal argument against Arizona law Is this the voice of reason?

Evian Masters – Round Three

My player was Ran Hong

I see plenty of red. Ball in hand today.

Karen Stupples was first out by herself and played in a few ticks past three hours. Caught up to the maintenance crew she did.

Singin’ that same old song: Was told by my local buddy that the ‘Asian invasion’ is having the same effect here as back in the States. Friends of his say this will be their last visit to the Evian Masters. Lack of European players is the reason. I know what many of you will say that “they should play better” but the reality is, many fans don’t care. They just want to see home grown talent. There’s no stopping a rising tide and the erosion that occurs in its wake. “Resistance is futile.”

Quote of the week: Ample amounts of one’s libation of choice has been known to lower inhibitions and loosen the tongue of even the most conservative (or not) bloke. Here at the Evian Master’s beer garden it’s no different. You’ve heard the saying that everyone has a price? Well today, we found out what the bottom line (so to speak) is for ‘Irish Brian’. “For a million dollars, I’d go queer.” was his proclamation.

And then there was this.

Volunteers Needed To Chip In During LPGA Stop

Tracy Hanson has opened new chapter in life

Michelle Wie’s ‘goose’ in France epitomizes her frustrating year

Evian Masters – Round Two

My player is Ran Hong

As Danny Wilson would put it, NIGHTMARE! Suffered through rain from the get-go, throw in a delay on the sixth for a downpour and a hazardous delay for lightning on our final hole. All that was left was an eighty-nine yard shot and two putts for par and we’re playing the weekend. But no. An overly aggressive play one-hopped into the back bunker and buried in a down-hill lie. Tiger himself couldn’t get this one up and down if his marriage depended on it. Made double and it was off to the beer garden I went. Three pints later, it was just a faded memory.

Not what was expected: Course conditions dramatically changed from the practice rounds to tournament conditions. Greens were much slower and more receptive. A failure to communicate and lack of agronomic skills were the reasons.

Evian Masters – Round One

My player is Ran Hong

Not a good day. Three over. Plenty or work left for tomorrow.

And then there was this.

Cindy and Jean get exemption spots for Sime Darby LPGA tourney

Doctor Still Under Investigation In Mysterious Death Of LPGA Golfer

Blackwelder trumps field for Kentucky Women’s Open golf crown

Evian Masters – Wednesday

My player is Ran Hong

The plan was to rent a car and head for the Alps but didn’t want to go by myself. By the time I found someone it was too late in the afternoon.

The day wasn’t a total loss. Hung at the course and learned a few things.

Wie suffers heat exhaustion at Evian Masters Add your own comments.

Three’s a crowd: Way too many loopers dote on their player’s every move and just get in the way. The putting green is a prime example.

After a few had departed.

Quote of the week: After one Euro looper received multiple requests last week for help finding a bag, he strongly declared that these guys just masquerade as caddies and “Couldn’t club a seal.” One guy had a stretch where he left a club behind at the last tournament, his cell went off during play and pulled a club out of someone else’s’ bag for his player to hit during an event. What a stellar recommendation that would have been.

Welcome to France: One looper got a little more than expected after spending the night at the Hotel du Palais. It was his first appearance in Evian and his player got in at the last moment. He was lucky to find a place to stay at all. His buddy’s player withdrew so he took the open bed. Checked into room thirty and woke the next morning covered with bug bites. After complaining, he was told “Oh, that happened before”. WTF! Did they think the bugs would leave everyone else alone? Of course, no complimentary night was offered. Just a different room.

And then there was this.

Allison Fouch of East Grand Rapids set to play in Meijer Charity Classic

Pornanong confident of earning LPGA card