The Show

January 30, 2010

Finally. Something to write about.

Many thanks go out to to my buddy Tommy G. and Royce for getting the pass for me. Met Royce at the hotel on his way in and he showed me the ropes on this extravagant event. Even though I thought it was pretty expansive, Royce, and many others, said it was only a fraction of shows past. Used to be elbow-to-elbow with only the middle aisle navigable.

My first visit to the PGA Merchandise Show was a memorable one. Literally. Players who have long departed from the tour, many moons ago, seemed to pop up everywhere. Here are just a few I espied. Amy Fruhwirth, Jackie Bertsch, Michelle Bell, Karen Noble, Colleen Walker (I think that was her) Nancy Rubin and Donna White. Had two wins with Donna “back in the day” and it was great to see her again.

Of course, Nancy Lopez was there and Dottie Pepper was roaming around. A few current players floated by also, with new equipment and potential sponsors on their minds I’m sure, among other things.

Even though the LPGA booth was smaller this year (that’s what I was told) it didn’t seem to lack popularity. A few players stopped by for autograph sessions which had folks lining up down the aisle. Christina Kim and Paula Creamer were the most popular when I passed by. Creamer had plenty of action at the Sundog eyewear booth but nothing like the LPGA venue. She was dressed to the nines in a hip-hugging skirt and high heels which was in contrast with most of the others. In fact, I over heard one fan referring to a player as “The one who didn’t bother to make herself look pretty.” “Image is everything” to the public.

Along with autographs, anyone wishing to have their photo taken with an LPGA star was obliged without question. Among the mix were DFT players and participants right out of Q-School. Mallory Blackwelder even did a stint with mom acting as press agent. Natalie was scheduled for Friday but had to cancel for reasons unknown to me. Very much not like her I was told, so it probably was unavoidable. Heard there was a line of young, buff guys waiting for her.

A little more face recognition would be helpful to some players I learned. While Anna Nordqvist put in time signing her John Hancock, I saw two people point her out and proclaim their adoration for Suzann Pettersen.

Michael Whan, the new Commissioner, even stopped by and the cameras were rolling. Looks like a people person to me. Not like She-Who-Must-Be-Named. Lucky his first name isn’t Don.

I must have done 4-5 laps around this place. Tried to see it all and I think I did. Heard the vast majority of golf related business is negotiated this week and one could see why. If you have any presence at all i the golf business, you’re here. One end was dedicated to apparel and the other equipment, with every gadget and accessory in-between. An indoor range was set up next to the equipment so everything new and shiny could be demoed, tested and fitted. My favorite stop though was the cushiony chairs adorning one of the over-priced eateries that dotted this venue. Gave my dogs time to recoup before continuing on.

Overall, this is just what I needed to break the boredom of an interminable off-season. Wonder what will be next around the corner?


In the works? Heard a strong rumor that an event in Dallas will be added to this year’s schedule.

Good move: I’m assuming that due to the lack of full schedule, players out of Q-School will now be allowed to play in three DFT tournaments but only five spots will be allotted for them in each event. Don’t know what the pecking order will be.


Other stuff of interest:

Comparison: Thinking of getting one of those new-fangled iPads? You may wish to think again. iPad vs a rock.

Has Britain gone bonkers? Ad for ‘reliable workers’ banned as discrimination.

Obama says U.S. deficit could jeopardize recovery. No s–t Sherlock! Doesn’t stop him form spending though.

Study: Distractions, not phones, cause car crashes. If a phone is not a distraction, what is it?

Those evil capitalists!! Gates Pledges $10 Billion to Fund Vaccines

The crazies will be out in force: Tonight: Year’s Biggest Full Moon, Mars Create Sky Show

I’m done.

From The Outside Looking In

January 26, 2010

The PGA Tour is off and running while the LPGA sits back with two more months to go before our first home event. Pitiful! The elite head for Asia in February but I’m not one of the privileged few that will be taking the trip.

The days of starting in late January and plodding along till October are a distant memory. Believe it or not, caddies used to take a week off now and then just to rest up. But now, “less is more” or shall we say, “much less is more” rules the day due to grandiose views of self-importance, mismanagement and the dismissal from the roots of whence the LPGA was born and flourished. So be it.

And the beat goes on: Another event has been added to the 2010 schedule but it’s another limited field event. Sybase Match Play Championship will have sixty-four hopefuls. Why did all those players plop down $5,000 for Q-School again?

Blast from the past: Long–retired looper, Russ Hauger, has found my site and touched base. That’s one of the benefits I enjoy from my efforts.

First timer: As of now, my inaugural visit to the PGA Merchandise Show is scheduled for this coming Friday. Hope that ticket comes through.

Virus going around: The computer variety that is. Three people I know acquired one of those nasty security viruses that want a wad of cash to clean your infected computer. That itself is a virus. Bummer! If you don’t have security software installed or that trial copy of Norton or MacAfee has run its course, at least install Microsoft’s Security Essentials. It’s free. Widows 7 users have it already. Make sure you update it at least once a week and run a full scan.

The Final Tally

January 18, 2010

The Sony Open is complete. The LPGA looper contingent finished as follows.

B.O.B’s horse ended with a solid 67 in the final round. Bully’s made the cut but needed one less shot to play on Sunday. A. J. missed the cut and Hound Dog’s man failed to Monday qualify.

Articles of interest:

‘Scots Drink 46 Bottles Of Vodka Every Year’

Belly-up to the bar. A pint a day keeps the “big C” away?

The truth about Twinkies.

MSNBC talk host: ‘Cheat to keep these bastards out’I tell you what, if I lived in Massachusetts I’d try to vote 10 times”

Voodoo priests object to mass burials

Good grief! You’re a ‘gay’ man, Charlie Brown We’re headed down the toilet if we’re not there already!

Every hour of TV viewing increases your chances of an early death

Man flees courtroom, bounces off window in escape attempt Video included.

Anyone bringing pork skins across border could be hit with $1,000 fine

I’m experimenting with the Google Chrome browser. Held back until RoboForm Password Manager integrated it into their own version. The good is it’s super fast. The bad is it crashes frequently. Even when I try to logon to my Google Voice account which is quite ironic. One thing I have noticed though, it seems to be able to use weak wireless signals better than FireFox.

Mr. Bitterman Asks – Who?

January 11, 2010

Aloha fellow human beings,

Obviously, 2010 has begun and everyone is optimistic that this year will be so much better and brighter than 2009. How can it NOT be? On the LPGA Tour, we have gone from twenty something full field events to a number in the teens. Didn’t we all hear how “less was more” a few years ago by one of our Commissioners? Now, if we can only dispatch those extra few tournaments from our bloated schedule, and get us down to around three or four, then we might have something “great” after all.

To me, Mr. Bitterman, I don’t see how this will be a great year for the LPGA but what I do see, is getting close to the very bottom of the bottom.

Everyone knows that in order to get things turned around, one must hit rock bottom. So I believe we all owe the former Commissioner (she who shall not be named) a large “thank you” for bringing the LPGA to the rock bottom of their fifty plus years. It’s a time when many old “stand by LPGAisims” will be swept away. Unfortunately, I think this will include ole school caddies also. Not sure how many loopers will be able to make enough money with the thirteen or so domestic events planned for 2010. Certainly there will be caddies that weather this storm. Those few that have top bags and can still make good money with their players will survive. It’s the middle-of-the-road caddies and the fringe loopers that will be hit square in the wallet. The ones that add the spice and drama and fun to the profession. I even dare to guess that the tour will see its fair share of “friends, family and loved ones” being brought into service for a week or two of fun in the sun.

I cant really argue with that. If I was a player I would much rather bring out someone I could “share the hotel costs with” (wink) than some ole curmudgeon caddie that requires money to live on. The nerve! I hope I am wrong but you never know. Will the moms and dads, brothers, lovers or just real good friends stay up and drink all night with each other? Will they be buying “Shoe Show” dancers or bed warmers? Who will the Korean fathers blame when their teenage daughter (who the entire family lives off of) misses a putt? Will one of these “best friends” hit on that HOT volunteer on the 7th hole? I think not. What this year’s tour may be in desperate need of are: the story tellers, gamblers, drunks and all around good guys/girls that makes getting up at 5am, in the rain, when its freezing out, entertaining.

Who can ever forget “cowboy schoos”? Who will make fun of that annoying caddie that just loves to be way too perky in the wee hours of the morning? Will anyone stop “Premature Bibulation?” Who will make faces at you while your getting screamed at by a players dad? Who will be there to give out the gum you forgot, throw hot chocolate in another guys face for being annoying or let you check their yardage book before teeing off cause you were too tired to really walk the 6th hole? Who skirts just millimeters away from a sexual harassment case? Who’s car will get repossessed? Who will make up inappropriate nicknames or give me $25 for bib deposit when I’m broke? Will a mom tell another caddie to check out the “VISA chicks” on the fourth tee? No! Who is gonna do shots with the local caddies at the turn on pro-am day? Who will share their stories of carnal delight during rain delays or bring dice and cards for those oh so great all day wash outs? Who will take up a collection to bail a caddie out of jail? Who?

I am sure many loopers will still be out there. They always seem to do their best when times are toughest. I am not saying this is what will happen. I am just hoping that we haven’t seen the beginning of the end to all that was fun and interesting on tour for those of us that have been part of it for a very long time.

For the love of God, who and what will we all gossip about? Brittany Spears? Sheesh!


Mr. Bitterman

Happy Holidays – Not!

January 7, 2010

Stick ‘em up! Caddie Rita robbed on New Year’s Eve

Bah, humbug! This is what one former player endured this past Christmas. Don’t ask who.

  1. Home broken into two days before Christmas. French doors destroyed, laptop, jewelry and a couple presents stolen.
  2. Visited the relatives. During a touch football game, took a tumble and whacked her head on the asphalt and badly scraped one arm. Luckily, a metal hair-clip bore the brunt of the head trauma but left a nasty bump and enduring pain.
  3. Woke up that evening with chills and headed for the hospital. Given the OK after being examined.
  4. While driving home, had a flat.

Sad  note: “Motorcycle” Jim’s mom passed away just before Christmas. She will be laid to rest at Arlington Cemetery Feb. 2nd.

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