Jamie Farr Classic 2006-Toledo OH

My player this week is A. J. Eathorne.

Week off: Without a job for the Match Play, it’s off to Toledo to spend an idle week with Rick “The Nerd,” but first a visit with Dave Baker was in order. He has taken up residence in Warren Ohio not far from Avalon Lakes Golf Course where we used to play. Back in business for himself once more, Dave can fix your your sticks or make up a new set to keep you in the fairway. 

Dave may be found at 170 North Road NE Warren OH 44483

  • ZZZZZZZ; Haven’t slept this well in years. Even taking naps during the day which is unheard of for me. Rick and I were watching the World Cup game between Germany and Italy and we both fell asleep but awoke just in time to catch the two goals in overtime for the Italian win. Kind of like catching the highlights but in real time. Touching on the same subject, this reminds of one of the best retorts I’ve ever heard. Jeff Steffler (footie fanatic) was once describing a miscue by a goalie as “He just fell asleep” and was quickly responded to with “What did you expect, he was watching soccer!”.

  • $$$$$; Had a thorough check-up of my automobile and the repair costs are formidable. With almost 197K on the odometer, slow disintegration is inevitable. The engine still runs strong with little oil consumption but a shot suspension, along with other numerous maladies, plague my trusted transportation. Solved a couple problems with a trip to the bone yard for a coolant reservoir and automatic door lock.

  • It’s a girl; A new arrival has blessed the home of George, Melaina and Daniel Knox. Melaina helps out in the bag room during our visit to Nashville and takes care of us in A-1 fashion.

Name: Devin Jean Knox
Born: 6/20/06 @ 1:28pm
Weight: 6lbs 11.8oz
Length: 20 inches

The happy family.

  • Good run; Morgan Pressel and her cadero Sam have parted ways. They were together ever since Sam picked her at the Michelob event last season while Morgan was still an amateur. A local is on the bag this week (Match Play).

  • Many years ago, in a place far, far away … Who knows what motivates one to be a caddie? The lure of the open road, the love of the game or some other intrinsic desire deep within one’s being. Years ago, quite an odd sort of a fellow gravitated to life on the tour and, after a tumultuous few years, departed to forever leave his mark on society. Vernon Allen (always to be known just as Vern) dressed himself in army fatigues much of the time and had a propensity of curios behavior. He fished out a putter Rosie Jones chunked into a pond in Seattle only to deep six it once again when Rosie wouldn’t come up with enough ransom and was once on the receiving end of some fisticuffs administered by a player’s brother after a disparaging remark.

A few years back, word circulated that Vern’s fuse finally blew in the most violent of ways. His neighbors had apparently grated upon his last nerve and paid with their lives. After a bit of searching, I discovered confirmation of his final destination. Vern now occupies his own snippet of “hell on earth” in a correctional facility in Oklahoma. Click here to get a gander of our most infamous cadero.

  • Yowza!! Caddies have come a long way, starting from the military cadets looping for the French royalty, and later adopted by Mary Queen of Scots, to the highly specialized caderos working the pro tours. But somewhere in-between lies the the ubiquitous club caddie gifted with various degrees of expertise from “I know this course like the back of my hand” to “I carry this @%&# sack for beer money”. Now comes along a new breed of looper to tantalize the most avid golf fanatic with visions of executing their finest score ever. As their slogan goes, “Your game never looked this good”. Find the caddie of your dreams here or here.

  • Take that! Watched the whole World Cup final without a snooze. At one point, memories surfaced of an old time wrestler, famous for his head-butts, named Bobo Brazil. Check out this video.

  • Blazing success; Do you own a Dell laptop? I believe this hot model is the Pyromaniac 1000.

Tournament Week

Monday: A. J. played in Elaine Crosby’s pro-am in Michigan and, with a pro am scheduled for both morning and afternoon at Highland Meadows, I basically had the day off. It was not spent watching the tube however. My final stab at eradicating the gremlins from Karen Stupple’s old Vaio laptop was met with frustration. It had been on the fritz for some time before she replaced it at The Open. I ran antivirus scans and every spyware program I had (all in safe mode) to no avail. The demons were so entrenched the programs just locked up. The last resort was to go back to square one. I backed up her data and created the rescue discs only to find that disc number one was blank! But all is not lost. Sony will provide originals for a nominal fee. Should be good as new.

A steak dinner with mashed taters and green peas (along with a few Budweisers) served ala the great outdoors (Karen camps) was my reward for the effort.

Tuesday: Two more off-site pro-ams left the course deserted. We played eight holes (cut short by a clap of thunder) and putted a little.

  • You lose; A bright yellow t-shirt embossed with “AUSTRALIA” was donned by Herr Steffler settling a wager placed on the World Cup.

  • Add one more; Looks like Ginn Resorts has signed on for another event next season. RiverTowne Country Club in Mount Pleasant South Carolina will host the latest addition and, if it’s anything like the one in Orlando, will be first rate. Read all about it here.

Wednesday: WASH OUT! Fifteen minutes before we teed it up, the skies let loose and thunder rolled through the fairways of Highland Meadows. We stuck it out for a couple hours but, with no relief in sight, play was called for the day.

The ninth. A river runs through it.

A quick cadero pic during a respite in the storm. Watch the birdie Greg!

  • Lets go shopping; My wide brimmed hat finally bit the dust last week, ripping from starboard to port, so it was a perfect time to search for a replacement. Being reminded a Cabella’s Outfitter was just a short jaunt away in Michigan, I headed North and it didn’t take long to find what was needed. Purchased a San Juan Packable Hat which is a close match to what I had but not as wide a brim. It’ll do. Took a peek at all the lasers that were available (one of the largest selections in one place) but passed before temptation got the best of me. They were mostly targeted for hunters anyway.

  • Caddie info; Mike Bunch (AKA Cornbread) is looping for Lorie Kane as Danny, her regular, is taking some personal time.

Scraper headed back home to Portland last week and Donna (pictured above) will be on Becky Morgan’s sack for the rest of the season.

Motion (also pictured above back left) is calling it quits for the second time in his caddie career. Lucky we don’t solicit donations for a gold watch, he’d have one for each arm!

The Princess (Lisa Kiggens) is taking another week off from her job if (if that’s what you call it) at Corning C. C. to tote for Dina Ammaccapane.

  • Switcheroo The tee times were inadvertently flip-flopped on the LPGA website yesterday showing Friday’s as the first round. Hope everyone finds out before it’s too late. 

Thursday: A nice and steady bogey free round left us with a very respectable -3. Not bad for being on the DL for six weeks. We “played ball in hand” to compensate for the sloppy conditions and A. J. took full advantage.

  • In the nick of time; I confused our 8:50 pro-am tee time with today’s 7:30 start (thinking we were off at 7:50) and just made our scheduled meeting of 6:30 by the putting green. It turns out I was 30 minutes early as we were delayed for course maintenance. Had to shell out $5 to park across the street for my miscue.

  • Hop on; The creek running through the first, and second fairway turned into a raging river necessitating cart rides to ford the two. The second green and third tee was just out of reach of the swift flowing torrent with cresting anticipated at 2 PM.

  • Bleep; One prominent player, who will be doing TV commentary for the U. S. Girls’ Junior Championship next week, jokingly said she asked for one free F-Bomb during the telecast. Don’t think that request will be granted.

  • What’s my name? After making our fist bird of the day on the tenth (our second nine), we wound up in the right trees on the next hole. After locating our pellet, I uttered “If you do something stupid I’ll call you Phil!”. A. J. punched out and got it up and down for par instead. It wasn’t the last hole at The Open but was a sweet save none the less.

  • Who needs Madison Avenue? Randy (Kate Golden’s looper) donned a Xango hat at the turn which prompted a query from Erica Blasberg on the nature of the product. Instead of going into a drawn out explanation of this nutritional  elixir, Randy just blurted out “It’s good s–t!” Sounds like a winning slogan to me.

  • Get in my belly! Caddies dined “high on the hog” today with grub provided by Smokey Bones BBQ. Pulled pork, slaw, barbequed beans and chocolate chip cookies filled our tummies for lunch. Much better than what the player’s were served I heard.

Friday: Remember the line from Caddyshack? “I don’t think the heavy stuff is gonna start for quite a while”. Well it started not long after they pulled us off the course for the upcoming storm. We managed to get in eight and a half holes before all hell broke loose. With the course already saturated and more rain on the way, play is not scheduled to begin till 11:00 AM tomorrow. Wouldn’t be surprised if this event is cut to 54 holes.

  • Tempting fate; Most of the caderos waited out the fireworks in the caddie shack but a few lingered under a big tree, just outside, during the onset. With the possibility of lightning striking at any time, I asked how many bags would be open if said tree was the target. “Seven” was Wilksie’s response which included Paula Creamer’s looper Colin Cann (on a cell phone to boot). We figured a week and a half of mourning and she’d be open for Evian!

Saturday: Finished the second round and close to the third. We have four to play but there’s an hour and a half of tee times behind us. Play resumes at 7:30 tomorrow.

  • High-light; Our ace on the sixth hole from 134 yards out with an eight iron being the tool of choice. Along with two shots of our score, extra cash from Ashley Bunch made it a bit sweeter. Those two have a running wager on birds, eagles and aces and it’s $100 for the latter. It has been eight years since A. J.’s last one, holed down under in Australia.

  • Low-light; The triple we made on the thirteenth with two holes to play. Not going to get into it.

  • Shortest par four ever? The third tee was close to being overcome by the rising waters so a decision was made to move it up to the top of the hill and play it from the ladies tee. 259 yards was the posted measurement and I’m sure more than one player drove the green. Laura Davies did it in the group behind us.

  • Thanks, but no thanks; It was touch-and-go for the cut, oscillating between one and two over, coming down the stretch. But a three putt by Kris Tamulis on her final hole let all the twos in and now 90 players are fighting for a piece of the pie.

  • Cadero correction; Motion is not packing it in for good. He’s just heading for Asia to loop. What’s that about the grass is always greener?

Sunday: The way our final round started, I thought we were going to shoot the temperature! Didn’t have to worry much about the heat cause the trees provided plenty of shade. A. J. finally put the “big dog” back in its cage, using the three metal off the turf while teeing. Found the short stuff most of the way after that but the damage had been done.

  • Heading over “the pond”; The final spot to qualify for The British was won by Jackie Gallagher-Smith over Teresa Lu and Erica Blasberg in a play-off.

  • One down, one to go; As you may have seen, I’m looping for Bo Bae Song in Evian. It’ll be my first time there and have ICE (Kimmy’s cadero) to thank for the set-up. Just have to find a bag for The British and my dance card will be filled.

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