John Q. Hammons Championship 2006-Tulsa OK

My player this week is Dina Ammaccapane

Monday: Walked the course with remnants of Ernesto in my face on the first nine. It’s been closed for a week and in spectacular shape. One of the finest conditioned and most difficult tracks we play. Even have grass on the driving range.

  • I get the hint; We all can be replaced but I just wonder if being reminded by the tee markers on every hole is a bit much. Don’t know if Labor Finders has a caddie shack but there maybe a few open sacks this week that may need filling.

Yeh, but can they walk yardage, handle an umbrella, pull clubs and still suck up when the need arises?

  • It’s out a here; Nothing like having a celebrity in the family to swell your chest a bit. Just ask cadero Lane Kjeldsen. His cousin, Kevin Kouzmanoff, has found his place in baseball history and may have accomplished the only feat of its kind. Called up from the minors the other day, he hit a first pitch grand slamming in his initial at bat for the Cleveland Indians. Lane, will you be sportin’ a Tribe chapeau from now on?

  • Let me show you how it’s done? The fourth annual “Screamin’ Scramble” will be held this afternoon benefiting the Tulsa First Tee Program and Children’s Hospital. Dina has organized and run this event since the onset and it’s become a tour favorite. Nine holes with teams consisting of a player and caddie, prizes, food and libations will complete the day.

Just happened to spot the catering truck.

Tuesday: Put in a grueling four holes of practice and called it a day. Don’t want to over work her.

  • Screamin’ update; Diana D’Alessio and her looper Sam shot a spectacular six under par to win in a scorecard playoff.  Six under for nine holes in a twosome scramble? A lack of enough liquor must be the only explanation.

$5500 was raised which almost doubles last year’s take. Dina better not be sportin’ new wheels any time soon or a few eyebrows may be raised.

The teams of Nadina Light and her husband Mike and Joanna Head and Billy Prentice came up “a day late and a dollar short” so to speak. Both assumed the tournament was today not yesterday. We all know what happens when you assume.

  • Have a nice trip? Donna Early has returned from Korea after working an event for Meena Lee. With no yardage book on hand (make your own), rounds lasting up to seven hours with no weather delays, organized in the best tradition of a cluster f#&k, having to finish up on Monday and not a spec of American chow to be found all week, do you think she’s glad to be back in the good ol’ US of A?

  • Hurry up and wait; We do that a lot as messages fail to find their target or sometimes no message is left at all (shame on them) even though a late arrival is eminent. Today was no exception as a parking lot of caderos waited for their bosses to get in. After berating almost everyone that walked by (behind their back of course) more activity of a physical nature was bound to occur. Case in point. The availability of a handful of grapes prompted Rick Reid to find a more novel means to devour the marble-sized fruit. Making sure enough room was available to maneuver, he lofted piece after piece as high as he he could, quickly positioned his torso in its descending path and gobbled them up without a miss. For some reason, I had a feeling a few of the onlookers wished one would lodge in his windpipe necessitating the Heimlich Maneuver.

Choke, you mother! (just kidding)

Wednesday: We originally had a Thursday pro-am scheduled but changed with Marisa Baena and it turned out to be a good move. Played early today, then have a day off tomorrow before being first out of the box on Friday. 

  • Picky, picky, picky; Ernesto was not the weather system that impacted our area on Monday as first reported. Demonstrably pointed out by caddie, and atmospheric dilettante, Keith Kennedy, it was the tail end of John which traversed up the West coast. Keith resides at Islamorada in the Florida Keys and keeps a close eye (no pun intended) on anything resembling a cyclonic disturbance which may encroach upon his area.

  • What is this stuff? Many of us our staying at the Sleep Inn which is a fine establishment except for one glaring drawback. The coffee provided in the breakfast area may be the weakest I’ve ever sampled. Reminds me of the Three Stooges episode when they poured water through the carcass of a chicken to make chicken soup. Think they do the same when brewing the java at the Sleep Inn. The in-room coffee makers do have an acceptable strength though.

Thursday: A ten o’ clock scheduled practice went by the wayside as Dina did not wake until then. No problem, gave me time to touch base with a few other loopers. Put in some time at the pitching area, beat a few pellets and my day was done.

  • May I make a suggestion? Advice is what we give, and sometimes the result is not always to are liking. John Schiffer, bag toter for Giulia Sergas, has been urging her to find a coach and, with great gleefulness, announced she had finally obtained one. Rosie Jones has agreed to take on the task of shaping Giulia’s game into winning form and it’ll be interesting to see if John’s proposal pans out.

  • Speak to me Buddha; A row of rocking chairs await in front of the pro shop, longing for the weary to rest their bones and engage in, what at times may be, conversation of a notable nature. Never know who you may find yourself next to as caderos Chip Wall and John Schiffer found out. Sandwiched between hem was one of the best college basketball coaches of all-time, Oklahoma State’s own Eddie Sutton. I asked John if he had picked his brain for any motivational words of wisdom and all he could remember was “Never get old”. Sounds like “Father Time” is catching up to another great one.

  • Thank you, thank you very much (Elvis impersonation);  Kudos to our gracious host this week. Coffee and Krispy Kreams in the morn, lunch box with sandwich, chips and cookies around noon and a cookout with putting contest scheduled for tomorrow evening. Oh, did I mention a freezer the size of a VW Bug full of Good Humor treats occupying a corner of the caddie tent?

Friday: Excellent ball striking, a deft putting touch (most of the time) and a fortuitous bounce now and then added up to an exceptional four under par. Darn that Annika, thought we’d have a piece of the lead.

  • Too much to ask? A weak field, coupled with what could be a tortuous course, induced a request by the field staff for the rough to be topped off prior to the first round. But it fell on deaf ears, so “plan B” was initiated. The tees were moved up and pins set in relatively easy positions.

  • He’s earned it; After the tumultuous brouhahas that led to the break up of Christina Kim and her dad, Man, as a player/caddie team, we thought we’d seen the last of him for the year. But last week he showed up to follow her around and things didn’t seem to be any better. Needless to say, it was a raucous reunion which recidivated to prior embarrassing behavior as the tournament progressed. So, it was to our astonishment to espy Man back on the sack this week and had us wonder how many holes would pass before the “F-Bombs” would start flying. Then it came to me, the perfect nickname for her troubled cadero. “Măniac”. Same spelling, different pronunciation.

  • Heads up & bend over; This little newsworthy blurb puts the upcoming trip to Mexico in a new light. It also looks as if inmates in a neighboring country have a unique repository for their Blackberries. Bet they get sh-ty reception.

Saturday: Gave ’em all back today and finished even for the event. Basically, we were all over the lot. Need to “bring it” tomorrow cause there’s plenty on the line.

  • Bad juju; Dina and Kelli Kuehne have a running bet each week on birdies, eagles, aces and Kelli’s 16th place finish last week gave her the opportunity to collect for the first time in awhile. Payment is expected as soon as you see your opponent the following week but Dina was spared having up with the $50 she lost by trying to pay with a fifty dollar bill. For reasons unknown, that denomination is bad luck in the Kuehne family and she refused to accept it. A pay-off in singles or coins may be in the works.

Sunday: Shot +1and was passed by the world. Never seen this course play so easy and the absence of that “Oklahoma breeze” for all three days.

  • You loose; It hasn’t been a good week for Kelli Kuehne. Besides missing the cut and dropping a few bucks with her bet with Dina, her fervor for the Texas Longhorns cost her dearly. Dropped $100 (not with a bookie) on the game but that was small potatoes compared with another wager she placed with caderos Travis and Miles. As the loser, she had to wear an Ohio State hat today and must do the same all week in Danville and Morelia! This one must be tearing her heart out.

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